Keeping My Wrinkles Up on the Cheap

Buying products for elastic skin and thinning hair runs into a bunch of money...At my age, everything sags and drops. My thighs look like the waves on the shore! Not a pretty sight. It's Obama-rama "Yes We Can and "I'm not a quitter" time - so, I'm on it!

Looking at Michelle's bare arms at state occasions first made me wonder if her choice is appropriate. Then envy took over. Not a wrinkle from shoulder to elbow. Youth, it's wonderful! And, disciplined exercise helps. But, no amount of exercise - when wrinkles are everywhere - will produce taut skin...everywhere. And, cosmetics that I've found to work are very expensive. So, it's time to be creative if I still want to look in a mirror.I don't have a special cash envelope in my new realistic budget for skin creams. However, I found that I could mix my drinking-to-forget-I had-wrinkles envelope and my super market shopping envelope and look good at seventy-six. Well, maybe not "that-good." I look better.

On the cheap...amazing cosmetics can be made with vegetables, bottled seasonings and the least expensive vodka. There are new ways - that are old ways - to use vodka for more than partying. The new-millennium requires preventing and getting rid of wrinkles on a budget and sharing. So, since I'm on it...

...least expensive, most long lasting and easy...I tablespoon of Rosemary seasoning added to 200 millimeters of Vodka left in the refrigerator for six weeks makes Rosemary Liquor - now, you can drink it and get lumpy if you want to - but, it will do wonders, if you shake the bottle every two days, then filter (put it through the kitchen sieve) kept cold and rub on face and neck every night.

Maintenance is next: To keep skin elastic...another bottle for the refrigerator...take 200 grams of cream - add an egg yellow, the juice of one lemon and 20 milliliters of vodka. Shake and rub into skin. I made a big bottle of this concoction...for me it's needed on hands, feet, elbows, thighs, knees, ear lobes, entire face, neck and chest. I used a gallon jug.

Keep the vodka bottle at ready...add an tablespoon of vodka to the water that you use to rinse your hair and help hair grow faster.

It's hot-stuff for falling hair...chop up a pod of red pepper - add 100 milliliters of vodka, leave it for seven days and after that it's usable. Rub into head skin for three nights in a row. Wash hair and rub in again for three nights in a row. Wash hair and rub in a half garlic clove. I don't know if the garlic is to ward off evil spirits or to scare the hair into staying where it is...however, remember how inexpensive this solution is and It's not as smelly as you may imagine! After a week, wash hair and repeat the procedure.

There are mixtures for whitening skin (100 grams chopped cucumber, 100 milliliters vodka, in fridge for a week, filter and use cold) and taming oily skin (juice of a lemon and 100 milliliters of vodka is ready to use in twenty-four hours) that save money and do a job that is comparable to expensive store-bought skin products waiting for you to find them in your computer.

Reality brought me to necessity and necessity brought me to finding solutions to the problems created by my old age and the devastating economy. The answers are there. I'm on it!

Bargain, Barter, Swap and Trade for Survival

To make it through the week on budget - because times have changed...with a very disciplined, cash-in-the-envelope-system that eliminates steak from my menu - trading what I own for what I want is the extender I need.

One thousand Hong Kong restaurants, lacking customers, joined together to feature a one Hong Kong dollar (that's thirteen cents US) bargain dish to trade to survive. Some people overdo it...I won't go so far as to barter my kids for a $1500. pet cockatoo or swap my freedom for the food and shelter of a jail cell. However, it seems to me that the only way to make it through this time when there are no buyers for De Beers or my diamonds, Steinway & Sons production of pianos is cut in half - can't sell that - and, every monthly bill shows an increase - gotta' get things without spending cash...

...forget garage sales - every body's doing it and it's dogged work that often produces very little. No body's spending freely - so, getting the stuff dusted, washed, priced...put out on tables...put back - Ugh! However, a talk with friends and family produced a list of their non-essentials that included many of my "need-it-nows" and an idea took hold.

It may seem too simple, and there was a time when I put things aside for a charity donation tax deduction. I don't need deductions now. The new plan is..."Barter, Bargain, Swap and Trade Sunday Afternoon Friendly Open House."

A few hours at a different home each week. I bring my six items and promise to trade at least three. We browse, over a cup of coffee, bottled water or fruit punch and we talk...no TV unless it's a "swappable" and until we run out of "stuff", it's a free, social occasion that extends my budget, deepens my friendships and is a plus in a time of so many minuses.

Times have changed...Do you have any new-old survival ideas to trade?

Brangelina, The Octo-Mom and Childcare

After hours of writing today's blog...the server wiped it away - all that was left was the title. So, this is gonna' be a quick opinion and comparison on Brangelina and Octo-Mom.

With seven kids, glitzy movie-making and mega-bucks and all the help cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing possible, Brangelina go out in public looking like "there's no time for me." Previously dapper fashionisto, Brad Pitt, looks like a six-packer , overly-committed, truck driver that's been on the road without a mirror for days while holding one kid and hand-holding another. Angie, is always covered in a tot holding something. But, messy, individually changed by their child-filled lifestyle, their children have a presence in their lives. Octo-Mom is on TV - coiffed, neat as a pin and sans children, talking about what she wanted before they arrived and what she will do in the future. There's something wrong with this picture.

If Nadya Suleman was taking care of her brood of six before the litter of eight arrive, isn't there something she needs to do to prepare? She' going to school - getting her Masters, working a job and taking care of Nadya.

Besides the outrageous costs of prenatal, natal, hospital stay and life after Nadya takes over, is there a money tree connected to Nadya that will provide culture and education and is there a real Mother who forgets herself - her clothes, her hair, her personal options - in her connection to her children?

Well, I enjoyed looking at Brad the Dandy and I like to see Angelina's face without a Banky surrounding, however they choose to raise a brood and have altered their over-privileged lifestyle to a hurried , throw on a tee, pull up the dungarees and "let's get the kids dressed and out before it rains" pace.

I do not enjoy seeing Octo-Mom on Dr. Phil explaining her needs in prime time or seeing her begging for donations web site or like the thought that some idiot offered her a TV talk show. There's a difference in the way a desire to have many children can be handled.

For the Brangelina Clan, it seems that holding a child's hand is more important than self-care. For Nadya, Octo-Mom, dressing for public appearances, getting her Masters, collecting food stamps and public health assistance...does she have time for story-telling or hand-holding? Always alone or occasionally with her over-worked, stressed, Mother, singularly purposeful; there will be eight more to hand-hold,,, when does she have time for the six tots in her care presently?

Nadya, "The Terrible" and "Our Michelle" in the News

Last night's "day of reckoning" presidential speech gave reason to be cheerful. However, in her mid-forties, Michelle's flab-free arms were reason to make women smile too. Daring, bare arms were not appropriate for a president's lady or any lady at a formal "do" - but, I bet every woman looking at her calculated the workout discipline and self-assurance exhibited by "our Michelle." Yeah...now I think in terms of "our Michelle."

We need "our Michelle." With Nadya, "the terrible", the despicable Octuplets mother and grandmother arguing publicly - Nadya talking over her Mom...rude...disrespectful...selfish...on a .com radio interview. The result: Nadya's getting her own talk show. A reward for doing things we don't want our children to do.

Fortunately, the powers that be have decided that the octuplets are not going home to Nadya's overcrowded, unmaintained mother's home. And, tis said that Nadya told the father she had ovarian cancer and wanted one child, to get him to donate his sperm. When Nadya Suleman takes media space, and details of her relationship to motherhood and integrity hit the headlines on the same day, I am thankful for the admirable examples of maternal instincts, marriage partnership and personal independence set by "our Michelle."

I become more comfortable with her independent interests and often unconventional styles. "Our Michelle's" thoughtful choice of personal guests last night was heart-warming and deeply supportive of her husband's goals. And, finally, her announcement that the "First Dog" is a Portuguese Water Dog scheduled to arrive in April, after Malia and Sasha's Spring break...months of promises... those kids are patient!

...my kids would have worn me down or driven me nuts. However, "Our Michelle's" kids pick the same type of silly names for a pet that my kids did...They're being discouraged from naming the new pup, Frank, Moses or Moose...The First lady suggested that they take more time to consider...

...so, while J. Crew advertises Michelle style and Paul Labrecque Luxury Hair care advertises the Michelle Obama look with his "simple, sexy hair", "Straight Finish" lotion at $18. - "Our Michelle" discourages toy manufacturers from using her kids images for dolls and maintains a First Lady image that is "new-millennium-original" and admirable.

There are few financial or housing or mortgage or US-at-war news stories to make me cheerful, so "our Michelle" in the headlines is a blessing.

Not A Fun News Day - Can We Face Reality and Live?

It's not a fun news day. I have an intuitive feeling that it's time for the return of big-money quiz shows...time for dreaming and "wishes do come true." On numerology's #1 "start new concepts" Universal Day, the thought enters my mind; if we face reality, can we scare ourselves to death?

My first shock of the day: American Express is offering $300. prepaid credit cards to a chosen few if they will pay off their credit cards and close their accounts. That's innovative, a true #1 action that is emotionally powerful...could release some hormones, make my heart beat faster and surprise me to death.

News that home prices dropped dramatically hit home when I opened my home assessment letter to find that from last year to this, my home is worth half and taxes remain the same. So much for my home...the house - a cushion for the time my money runs out. Is that a news-worthy reason for an appointment with Kevorkian?

And, optimistic Obama is reading this too! No wonder Bill Clinton notes a less promising attitude in his public appearances.

So, I want to see something to remind me that lucky breaks happen...

...I'd do a quiz show that asks the questions: How much did AIG lose this quarter? It's a sixty billion dollar answer and the largest loss in history. Who said that the financial system has disintegrated and, there is no sign of a bottom and we are in a situation that is more severe than the Great Depression? This predictor compares today's economy to the demise of the Soviet Union with things going down uniformly around the world. And the answer is, extremely rich, investor, George Soros. I don't think he's gonna' worry about his house assessment. Last question - How much will the US donate to Gaza aid for humanitarian and reconstruction purposes? The answer is 900 million dollars. And, if we donate this vast amount, it won't put a dent in the two billion damage that exists there. Where will it come from? And after it's gone, they'll probably pull an AIG and want more...and if wishes come true...

...yes it's time for a resurgence of quiz shows. I'd call my current events based quiz show..."Face Reality and Live" That's an impossible dream...so, here goes my intuition again...if I won I'd probably faint and die.

Mixing, Matching and Cementing in the Obama White House

The Obama's - sticklers for routine and macro-management - mix and match the new and the old - bend the rules and cement a few - just like we do. The White House is beginning to seem like my Mother's house. We planned based on past performance, opted for stability and changed each day's plan as surprises arose and a creative button got pushed.

Pre-Michelle, a china pattern was selected by the first lady, was agreed upon by committee and traditions were upheld. At the Governor's White House dinner this past week, Michelle selected a current china pattern and mixed it with dessert plates from the 1939 World's Fair. That was interesting! The food tasting before the event, usually attended by the usual group of reporters, included students at a Maryland culinary school...Michelle adding youthful tastes. The menu included veggies grown in the neighborhood, citrus salad and creamed spinach that had no cream. Everybody's eating "healthy" and the usual rubber-chicken-whipped-cream-dessert dinners and staid routines are being Obama-ized...

...upon entering the kitchen, Michelle greeted the chefs with a kiss on the cheek and everyone pitched in opinions to make it a family affair. There's a new "according to Hoyle".at the White House. It's "according to Michelle" that the Obama White House will bend the rules for creative tastes, efficiency, variety and healthy values. So, she likes to mix and match some things...

...however, where her children are concerned, Michelle will not bend. The children's modus operandi will not change. With "First Granny" at the helm Michelle runs a tight ship...Children are in their self-made beds - in their self-cleaned rooms - by the traditional eight o'clock bed time. Michelle's credo seems to include sticking to routines where she thinks her children will remain secure and unchanged and putting her creative rule-bending in play everywhere else.

It's been many months of promises to bring a new routine into the children's lives; routine changing must be difficult. If the long expected "First Dog" doesn't die of old age before he or she gets adopted into the Obama clan routine, Malia and Sasha will make a change - add a new routine to their scheduled day. They'll walk the dog and tote pooper scooper's just like they would at home in Chicago if Michelle and Barack ever make a dogie-decision. My dogs - all six month old puppies "ran-away" before they reached seven months. My folks had trouble changing routines too.

The White House does seem to be just like my house now: Mixing and matching one minute and rule-fixing the next. Obama seems to be handling the Stimulus Package the same way he Father's his family...remixing and matching while some aspects are written in cement.

A Funny Thing Happened On My Way to the Bank

In England, the 99 cent store beat out the Pound (that's a Brit's dollar) store...people crossed the street - closed 'um down for a savings of one cent. That's not funny "ha ha" - it sure is odd! Pinching pennies takes on a new meaning...

...until April 1, when according to a Barack Obama statement, we will feel the tax breaks and it's three months to an easier access to credit from the banks. I'm gonna' shop with cash and look for the store that saves my pennies.

Credit card shopping is too shaky with banks lending to each other and tightening credit more and more as the unemployment rate increases. Banks and unemployment are closely tied. Credit card companies used the same system of "securitizations" (that's bundling-credit card loans into-one mutual fund or bond with no risk disclosure, for us penny-pincher's) as was used by the mortgage lenders that created the present crisis. Today, credit card companies are gearing for defaults and no matter how much the government gives them, they are still lending to each other.

So, in a few weeks, we're gonna' see "Stress Tests" for major banks in order to separate the weak from the strong...which banks should get bigger chunks of government money in case we go into a deeper depression - oops, intended to say, "recession." Must be my frame of mind that slipped into the "D' word.

Depression aside...there are facts. Banks can't raise private capitol and nationalization of troubled big banks is possible....some say, "not probable" and some say, "inevitable". For now, there's only April's quick tax cuts to look forward to as we watch tonight's glitzed-down-Red-Carpet and dandier entertainment, 81st Academy Awards Ceremonies on our no-cost-to-us-for-the-show home TV.

During the 1930's, in 1932, when Roosevelt became president, it was a "recession= feels like depression" people flocked to the escapism and crowd warmth of movie theaters. Movies were priced for the times at 35 cents and "misery loves company." I wonder...to spite pinching-pennies by eating at home and competition from home TV, video games and internet-wandering escapist entertainment , will getting out of the house - to escape our disciplines, mundane choices and financial reality - bring a 2009 serious and spoiled-rotten-culture back to 1930's be-grateful-for-any-and every-little-laugh society?

While checking out the movie theater marquees for a comedy, a funny thing happened on my way to the bank to get cash: Passed a resale shop window, loved the sweater, pulled out my credit card, shopped and probably will laugh-at-my-all-too-human-self all the way to the poor house.